


Sunlit Ice

by Cheshyhooks



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Character Death, Child Death, Deaf, Deaf Character, Deathfic, Depression, Drowning, Emotional Manipulation, Family Issues, Family Member Death, Ice, M/M, Manipulation, Manipulative Relationship, Murder, Murder-Suicide, Murderers, Near Death Experiences, Past Relationship(s), References to Depression, Self-Harm, Sensory Deprivation, Serial Killers, Sign Language, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 20:16:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13084560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheshyhooks/pseuds/Cheshyhooks
Summary: Vladimir has a somewhat twisted view of life. It becomes more skewed after a man saves his life. He falls in love and promises to do anything for him, even murder. But his crimes will catch up to him, even if he can't hear it.





	1. Chapter 1

Snow glittered the streets. From Vladimir's window, he was blinded. The snow fell too heavily to make out most of the details of the world outside him. He couldn't see what he knew was there.   
His little brother walked up beside him, gently tugging at his sleeve, “It's past bedtime by like an hour and we have school in the morning.” His voice was soft and not yet touched by puberty. He was 7 years old and was strikingly short for someone his age.  
Vladimir stared at the window, not bothering to even glance at him. He sighed, “Yeah, I'll tuck you in in a minute. How about you meet me upstairs?”   
His brother nodded solemnly before walking off to his room. Vladimir listened to the tiny padding his socks made against the cold, hard floors. Once he was sure his brother had left, he sighed scornfully. He glanced out the window one last time before trudging off to put his baby brother to bed.  
Nikki sat on his bed. His pajamas were just sweatpants and a shirt Vladimir had given him but was way too big for the tiny child. His eyes pricked up at the sound of footsteps. He smiled as he saw his brother walk in, “Oh good! I was worried you'd take forever hiking up those stairs.”  
“Ha ha. I'm only 16, stairs aren't gonna kill me till I get old.” His eyes locked on Nikki like he was prey.  
“Like Mom?”  
“More so like an old person who actually exists in this world. Mom's practically a ghost at this point.”  
Nikki giggled, not quite understanding the depth of his statement.  
Vladimir gave Nikki a quick and thoughtless hug, “Good night kiddo.” He pulled away before Nikki could grasp onto the comforting warmth of his brother's hug. Vladimir then walked up to the light switch, “You ready?”  
Nikki got under his blankets, “Yep!”  
Vladimir switched the light off, letting the darkness envelope Nikki. He walked out of the room and closed the door behind him, encasing Nikki alone in his cold, airless, dry room. He made his way to his own room, careful not to make a sound as he listened to the wind and snow. In the distance he could hear his mother come home from work. He stealthily got in bed, knowing that his mother would only try to talk to him if she thought he was awake. He didn't expect her to be home so soon. She should have been at work for at least another hour.   
His bedroom door opened before he could successfully make it to bed. He turned his head to see his mother standing in his doorway. He held his breath, hoping she hadn't seen him, though, he was standing in the middle of his room, so even if he was as silent as humanly possible, she could definitely see him.  
“Vlad, can you talk to me for a bit?” She seemed to brush off the fact that she'd walked in on him standing ominously in a dark room with no explanation as to why.  
“What do you need?” He turned around and forced a smile.  
She walked to her room, forcing Vlad to follow her, “I just want to thank you. Things have been hard since Milen left, but you've managed to stay strong and you've been able to take care of your brother despite how busy you've been. That speaks volumes to me.”  
Vladimir couldn't help but choke on his words. He was speechless. He knew his mother couldn't care less about the wellbeing of him or Nikki. He knew what she was truly like. He waited patiently for her to turn around her statement with some backhanded comment. He always waited for it. Her heart was no blacker that the night sky.   
She handed him a 20 from her wallet, “Thank you. You shouldn't have to play the role of parent, and yet you do. If it ever gets to be too much for you, tell me. I can hire a babysitter for Nikki, I can take time off work. Just tell me.” Her voice sounded as sincere as it usually did. Despite the fact that she'd never mistreated him, Vladimir couldn't trust her. He knew she hated him, she had to.   
“Oh, Mom, you don't have to pay me. We're family, family shouldn't have to pay to watch family. Besides, if this ever got to be too much for me, you don't have to worry about me not telling you.” He mimicked the sincerity. It was easy to do, and besides, didn't everyone fake their joy?  
She sighed, “Actually, I'm worried about you. You're not as vocal, you've become irritable, and you've been hiding in your room whenever I'm home. Have I done something wrong? Is it about Milen? You shouldn't be afraid to tell me.”   
“I told you, I'm fine. I'd tell you if something was bothering me, you know that.” He smiled, forcing it to appear gentle despite the fact that he couldn't stand his mother. She was always under this pitiful veil of sincerity. He knew her true intentions. He knew she planned on driving him out just as she had for Milen. His brother Milen had done nothing wrong, and yet, she made him feel so awful about living with them that he left. His mother was constantly dawdling on the fact that he left on his own accord and that he could always visit Milen if he wanted to.  
He found it cruel for his mother to even suggest that he could visit Milen. Milen had been the one to abandon him here to face his mother's wrath all on his own. Milen had been equally as fed up with their mother, and yet, rather than stay and be there for him, Milen abandoned him. Milen had left him behind, why would he even bother associating with the trash that left him behind?  
“Alright, well, sleep well. I'm off tomorrow, so you don't have to be home until 8, ok?” She gave him a warm smile. He remembered how comforting her smiles had been when he was younger. He only begun to hate his mother when he turned 9 and realize that people at their core were evil. They had their ways of leading those they knew into a false sense of security before they'd eat you up inside. He didn't trust people, and it's not like Milen helped much. He thought Milen had been the only honest person he'd ever met. Milen had been the only person he truly opened up to.  
“Ok, good night, Mom.” He took the money, gave her a quick emotionless hug, and stalked off to his room.  
He placed the 20 in his money cup. Every time his mother paid him, he kept it. He couldn't bring himself to spend her money, because then he'd just be buying into her bribe. He wouldn't do it.   
He got into bed, listening to the sounds around him. His mother had begun taking a shower, Nikki was snoring loudly, and the tree that stood by their house was scraping up against his window. He sighed. There was never a single drop of silence. He couldn't wait to live on his own, where he wouldn't have to listen to any of the troublesome noises that people made.

The next afternoon, Vladimir sat outside an ice cream shop with his friend Elisabetta. They lapped up ice cream Elisabetta had bought them.  
“I'm just saying, Vladimir, should Milen make the effort to talk to you, you have to take it. He's your brother! I'd give anything to have a relationship with my brothers!” She burned her bright green eyes through Vladimir's skin. He felt uncomfortable.  
“I'm not sure. He's got his own life going on. I'd only get in the way.” He stared down. Elisabetta was an honest person, but she preferred to make eye contact always, which was uncomfortable and he hated it. Not making eye contact ensures trust and stability, staring is what hunters do to their prey.  
She sighed, “Your loss I guess. Milen's a cool dude, not to mention family. He'd be disappointed if you didn't even bother visiting him.”  
“If he wants to see me, he'd make the effort to.” He shifted the snow at his feet into a small mound, “So, how are you and Gilbert holding up?” He tilted his head in interest. He couldn't bring his eyes to hers, but he could at least to all he could to appear invested in their conversation. She was like the voice of reason that he needed in his life and could get past her greedy intentions. She never came off to him as entirely cruel, the opposite of his mother. For the most part, she just seemed to care about keeping everyone happy at the cost of her own joy. He liked that about her, it made her one of the better people in the world, however, vulnerable. She was a fighter, but he always thought most of her interactions with others to be somewhat abusive.   
“Gilbert and I broke up. It's about time too, he was awful. Last time I tried to break up with him, he told me that he'd kill himself. This time, I took your advice. If he is going to kill himself, then at least there'd be one less person in the world. I don't need that kind of negativity in my life.” A small smile crept across her face as she lapped up some more of her ice cream.  
“That's great! I'm so happy for you!” A genuine smile was plastered to his face, “And good riddance! If he kills himself, then it's his own damn fault! You shouldn't let him trap you with his madness.”   
“Yeah, I just wish it wasn't so hard. He's been in my life since I was a kid! I've known him longer than anyone else in this whole town!”  
“Just because you've known him doesn't mean that what he was doing wasn't abuse. Did you forget when he locked you in a closet? Or that time he handcuffed you to his fridge so you'd stop trying to go home when you had to be home at a certain time? Or how about-”  
“I get it, and you're right. But it wasn't always bad with him. He had his good days.”  
Vladimir looked up from the ground and locked his large vermilion and mahogany eyes with hers, “What you had was unhealthy and abusive. The bad moments trump the good by a landslide.” He sighed and stared back at the ground. He lapped up some more of his ice cream.  
After a brief yet uncomfortable silence, she nodded, “You're right.” She stared at the ground, “You're absolutely right.”   
Vladimir finished up the last of his ice cream, “We still have time until you have to get home. Once you're done with your ice cream, we should head on down to the pond.”  
“Why the pond? It's cold! Wouldn't you rather we go to some place indoors?” She looked up at him in bafflement.  
“It's probably frozen over. Plus, it's on the way to your place.”   
“Good point.” She finished up her ice cream and stood up, “Should we start going now then?”  
“Don't see why not.”

The pond was a small dip of water that rested in the heart of a small empty forest beside the town. It was the kind of place that was well enough separated from the rest of the world that no one could hear the screams that echoed off the cool waters. However, at this time of the year, those who knew about the pond often used it for learning how to ice skate. The ice was thin however and couldn't support much weight.  
At the pond, there were two other people there. Vladimir recognized them to be his classmates, Sadiq and his friend Heracles. He paid no mind to them and instead focused on Elisabetta.  
“Do you think the fish are still alive?” She asked.  
“Not sure. They must be if they're still around by spring time.” He placed a foot on the ice. There was a large sign not that far stating to stay off the pond when it was frozen. He didn't care though as he placed another cautious foot over the ice.   
“Are you sure that's a good idea? The ice looks thin.”  
“It's holding me up now, isn't it? Besides, I'm just testing it for now.”  
“Why though?”  
“Just for fun! Come on! It feels safe! It hasn't started breaking yet, now has it?”  
She hesitantly placed a foot over the ice, but immediately pulled back, “I'm not so sure. It just doesn't look safe.”  
“Oh come on! Look, I'm fine.” He confidently slid onward, farther out onto the pond. The snow that covered the ice helped his shoes grip onto the ice.   
Elisabetta heard a crack in the ice. She looked forward to where Vladimir was carelessly walking. She saw a small crack form beneath his feet, “Vladimir! Get off the ice! It's breaking!”  
He stopped moving and turned around, “Is it?”  
“Yes! Come back now or you'll be soaking! We're still pretty far away from my house, you could get hypothermia!”  
He paused and took a step towards her. He was pretty far out in the ice. He heard a crack from beneath him and looked down. The crack was large and casmed beneath him. He carefully took a step forward, but the crack grew larger. He knew that if he stayed there, he'd break the ice and sink, but if he moved, the ice would still break. He took his chances and took another step forward. He could feel water soak his shoes.  
Sadiq looked up from his phone and saw Vladimir on the ice. He scoffed, “That idiot! He's gonna sink!”  
Heracles looked up from his own phone, “He is. He's far out enough to where he might drown. Should he sink, he's gonna die.”  
“That means someone's gonna have to save him, right?”  
Heracles nodded.  
“Goddamnit.”   
Vladimir walked forward, fear coursing through his veins. The ice kept breaking, but he had to keep moving forward. He heard the ice give out beneath him and he let out a shriek.   
Water filled his lungs as he scrambled for air. He clawed at the ice above him and gasped for air.  
Elisabetta screamed in alarm and carefully padded up to to hole in the ice. A chunk of ice broke off the hole, startling her back. She felt fear pulse through her veins as she watched her friend drown.  
Sadiq ran past her, taking off his jacket, and jumped into to water. The water was still for a minute until both boys burst from the waters.   
Sadiq coughed out some water before turning to face Vladimir. Vladimir heaved out the water from his lungs, relishing in the air around him.  
“What were you thinking? There's a Goddamn sign right there!” Sadiq angrily gestured to the sign, “Elisabetta even told you to get off the ice! How stupid are you? Can you not read? Are you deaf?”  
Vladimir couldn't say anything. He coughed out another gush of water.  
Sadiq sighed, then he took Vladimir's leg and dragged him to shore, grabbing his coat and mask as he did so. Elisabetta walked up to him, “Thank you! I'm so sorry about him!”  
“No problem, just keep your idiot off the ice next time.” He let go of Vladimir’s leg and walked over to Heracles, “I'm gonna have to cut this date short, he could get hypothermia if he stays outside. Sorry about the inconvenience.”  
“I don't mind. See you tomorrow!” Heracles walked off.   
Sadiq turned back to Vladimir and stared down at him, his dark maple colored eyes pierced him.  
Vladimir sat up and shakily got up. He stared into Sadiq's eyes, “Thank you, I'm sorry.” He coughed again.  
“Come on, I'll take you home.” He began to walk away.   
Vladimir exchanged a glance with Elisabetta, who simply mouthed out, “See you tomorrow.” Before leaving. He sighed and followed Sadiq. Sadiq asked him where he lived and how to get there.   
Sadiq's car was surprisingly warm. Sadiq handed him a blanket, “You're the second idiot I've saved from the pond.”  
Vladimir looked up, “Yeah? Who was the first?”  
“This weirdo named Milen. He was trying to kill himself.”  
Vladimir felt his heart stop. He faced Sadiq, “Milen Popescu?”  
“Yeah, you know him?”  
Vladimir’s eyes light up, “That's my brother!”  
“Cool, you should probably make sure he gets some therapy.”  
“He doesn't live with us anymore.” Vladimir admitted, staring back down.   
“Well, should at least suggest that he gets some therapy.” Sadiq reached for another blanket for himself. He sighed, “Stupid seems to run in your family, doesn't it? Why were you out on the ice?” The sincerity in his voice was new to Vladimir. It wasn't quite like his mother's, which was fake, and nor was it like Elisabetta’s. His voice sounded syrupy like money, yet oddly sharp. He spoke with his whole mouth as opposed to the back of his mouth like his mother, or the sides of his mouth like Elisabetta. He carefully enunciated each letter with stunning precision, yet his voice was low and deep with the softest murmur. It was exactly how Vladimir would have thought money to sound like. It was thick, and comforting. The kind of voice that you could only see.   
He smiled and laughed softly, “I was just being an idiot. Thought it'd be fun to be on the ice.”  
“Well, no shit. Idiots love stuff that could kill them.” Sadiq scoffed. He pulled up to a stop, “This is your stop, right?”  
Vladimir glanced out the window, “Yeah, that's my house.” He got out and handed Sadiq his blanket back, “Thank you.”  
“No problem, just stay out of the pond, ok?”  
“Ok.” Vladimir couldn't help but giggle as he spoke. His heart felt oddly tied to Sadiq. He was his classmate, but he also saved his life. Why had Sadiq saved him? Why'd he save Milen? If people were at their core bad, then why was there any good in the world? He wondered if perhaps Sadiq was proof that there was good in the world, true natural good.   
He watched longingly as Sadiq drove away. He smiled to himself, the warmth of Sadiq's smile filled his chest.  
He then turned and walked up to the front door. The door was oddly locked. He sighed angrily as he trudged to the back door. However, that door was locked too. He groaned and took his phone from his pocket. It wouldn't turn on, and Vladimir felt his frustration grow. He waited on his porch for his mom to open the door. 

4 hours had passed. He was beyond pissed as he watched his mother’s car pull up into the driveway. She gasped as she saw her son on the porch. She anxiously ran up to him, “Oh no! Baby, are you ok?” She touched the side of his face and gasped as she pulled back, “Honey! You're freezing! How long have you been out here? Why didn't you message me?”  
“I fell through a pond at around 4.” He scowled.   
“Vladimir! You could have died! Come inside, I'll start a fire.”  
“Oh yes, and ignore the high chance of hypothermia.” He sarcastically sneered.  
She opened the door, letting her sons inside. She started a fire in their fireplace and put Nikki to bed. She came back down and provided him with blankets and dry clothes. He glared at her as she left to get him hot chocolate.   
She called him in for school the next day and left him alone to warm up while she went to bed. He sighed angrily as he let himself thaw out.   
His mind drifted onto Sadiq. He was probably warm and dry by now.   
He got in the warm clothes his mom gave him and set up a spot to sleep on the living room floor to sleep. He realized that he might have severe nerve damage in his hands and feet. He tried to push the thought out of his mind as he drifted off to sleep.

A few days later, it was the weekend. Vladimir’s mother hadn't taken him to the doctors yet to see if he'd caused any long lasting damage, and his hearing was beginning to go out in his right ear.   
On weekends, Nikki was sent to their Dad’s house. Vladimir didn't care for his father all that much and figured he wouldn't care much, if at all, if his father died.   
Due to the freedoms that he had when he didn't have to watch Nikki, Vladimir had made it his goal to see Sadiq again. Sadiq was easy to predict, he was always spending time with his boy friend, Heracles. He didn't get along well with Heracles in any way, but Vladimir had never seen 2 people so in love with each other. Perhaps it was because his parents were always fighting too much for him to really see much love.   
Vladimir hid in the coffee shop. Heracles and Sadiq sat in the booth behind him. He took notes on their conversations, desperate to learn everything he could about Sadiq before he’d try talking to him again. He'd already found Sadiq’s social media accounts and had listened in on Sadiq's conversations with Heracles just to find out where they'd be today. He made sure to listen in on every detail.   
Sadiq and Heracles started talking about Sadiq's parents.  
“I've only seen them once, what do they do for a living?” Heracles asked innocently. Vladimir loathed the false cloud of innocence that Heracles wore constantly. Vladimir thought Heracles was lazy and a slob. He never did anything worth Sadiq's attention. He was unnecessarily cruel, yet played the role of some pet to Sadiq. It was sickening! Vladimir could be so much more to Sadiq than the trash he was with!  
“It doesn't really matter what they do, now does it?” Sadiq's voice remained to be the best thing Vladimir had ever heard.  
Vladimir couldn't quite hear what else was being said. He sighed angrily and wrote down what all he could. He felt somewhat defeated by his hearing. It'd been getting worse ever since the day he met Sadiq. It frustrated him. He didn't know what it was, but it was worse in his right ear. He knew it had something to do with swimmers ear, but he wasn't entirely sure.  
He heard Sadiq get up to leave, his voice being made clear to him. Sadiq caught sight of Vladimir, who quickly flipped to the pages in his notebook where he was trying to figure out the cause of his deafness. He held still and was careful not to accidentally make eye contact with Sadiq.  
Sadiq smiled, “Hey stupid. Nice to see you dry now.” He waved slightly as he left.  
Vladimir couldn't help but blush as he accidentally looked up for a moment, his eyes locking onto Sadiq as he left. He felt his heart beat loudly in his chest, he wanted to call out to Sadiq and try to make conversation, but his anxiety chained him to his seat, paralyzing him. He couldn't bring himself to it.  
He watched as Heracles left too. He immediately remembered why he'd tagged along to their date. He got up, packing up his things in his backpack and quietly followed him. He was careful with his steps. He might not be able to hear that well, but Heracles still could and it would completely jeopardize his mission if Heracles heard him.

Heracles’s house was small, and he was home alone. He walked to his room, pulling out his phone to check the time. He placed his phone on his nightstand and lied down on his bed to doze off.   
He heard his bedroom door creak open to see an odd man he couldn't recognize. He was small, with straight, messy, strawberry blonde hair that went halfway down his neck. His eyes were a bright vermilion and mahogany and resembled sunlit ice. His skin was pale with small, barely visible freckles across his cheeks and nose. Heracles recognized him to be the man Sadiq had saved from the pond.   
Panic surged through him as the blonde attacked. He tried to fight back, but the blonde was too fast. The blonde had him pinned to the ground, holding a pillow over his face. Heracles struggled to breathe, he could feel his airways burn as nothing came to them. He felt his body give up, but he was not intent on dying yet, he had to hold on!  
Vladimir smirked as he checked the pulse of his now dead victim. He had won! He had killed the only man in his way! Without him, the world could become better.


	2. Chapter 2

Vladimir exited the school building alongside Elisabetta. It had been 5 days since he'd murdered Heracles. His mother didn't have work today, so Vladimir figured he could spend some time with his friend.   
“Odd, Gilbert went missing sometime this week. Do you think something's happened to him?” She asked, looking up at the sky. Her tone was soft and concerned from what Vladimir could hear.  
“Why would you care? He's a dirtbag! Just let him go!” He spoke loudly, making sure he could hear himself.   
She sighed and glanced down at her shoes, “I know, but-”  
“No buts! He was terrible! If you still love him, then there must be something wrong with you! He never loved you, so why should you love him?”  
Her bright green eyes locked with Vladimir’s. They were the same shade of green as Heracles. He couldn't help but feel his heart freeze. Her eyes said so much that he'd never heard before. They were so sad and expressive, he didn't understand why he'd just stared down all the time. The eye contact was uncomfortable, yes, but oddly worth it. He felt something in his heart want to reach out and take her eyes for himself.   
Upon the thought of ripping her eyes out, he stared down at the ground; finally pulling away from her gaze. He couldn't believe that he thought about doing that to her, his best friend!   
She said something else, though it was muffled. He looked up at her lips, “Could you please repeat that?”  
“I said Sadiq seemed to have taken an interest in you. I swear, you're going deaf.”  
He scoffed, “You couldn't be any more correct.” The reality of her first statement then hit him, “Wait, Sadiq?! But I've’nt done anything to deserve his attention!”   
“Well, he still seems interested. Didn't you hear him invite you to the ice rink after school?”  
Vladimir remembered Sadiq saying something to him that he couldn't quite make out, but was shocked to discover what he'd actually said. He simply stared at Elisabetta in shock. He couldn't quite find the words to say.  
“How did you not know? We gotta get you to that ice rink! Sadiq’s waiting for you! You know how to skate, right?”  
“Yeah.”   
The two quickened their pace to Vladimir’s house. Vladimir grabbed his skates, dropped off his backpack, and waved goodbye to his mother as he bolted out the door and took the car keys. Elisabetta hopped into the driver's seat and drove them to the rink.  
“Thank you for reminding me.” Vladimir stared into her eyes. They were so pretty, the shade of green resembled aquatic plants and had a grayish tint on the lower parts of her irises.   
She came to a stop, “Have fun! Just text me when you need to return your mom’s car.”  
“Ok! Thanks again!” He got out of the car and entered the rink.  
Sadiq skated around the perimeter of the rink. It was surprisingly empty. He glanced down at Vladimir with a smile, “Hey stupid! Look! Ice, just like last time. If you can fall through this, I'll pay you a couple hundred!” He sneered.  
Vladimir smiled and skated up to him, “I have a name, you know.”  
“I know, but stupid just suits you so well.” He teased, “So what is this name of yours?”  
“Vladimir.”  
“Really? Stupid definitely fits you better than Vladimir.”   
Vladimir rolled his eyes, “Fine then.”  
Sadiq smiled, and skated backwards, “So, s you know, Heracles died the other day. Such a tragedy. The cops thought I did it! But then his little brother Lovino confesses! Can you imagine what his mother must be going through?” He sighed, “I'm sorry to be dumping this all on you, stupid, but I don't exactly have any other friends at the moment.”  
“I don't mind, it's good to vent.”  
“So what's the deal with Milen? Have you talked to him about therapy yet?”  
Vladimir was hesitant, “I haven't spoken to him since he moved out.”  
“You're just asking for him to die, aren't you?”  
Vladimir felt a lump in his throat as he was more than desperate to tell him the truth. Milen had done so much wrong, surely death was the only thing that could permanently end the wrongs.  
“It's complicated.” He finally choked out.  
“There were many times where I thought it would be better if Hera died, but at the end of the day, he was all I had. I need him, but he's not here anymore. Milen needs you, he told me so. Just visit him, give him hope.”   
“How? He abandoned me with my mother, I have to parent my baby brother all alone because of him! If he was to die, it’d make no difference to me.” His hate was like a poison to his heart, encasing it and sealing in the hatred he felt for his brother to be true and genuine.   
“It sounds to me like you just miss him.”  
The two skated in silence alongside each other for a bit. Vladimir examined the ice carefully, feeling as the ice scraped beneath him.   
Sadiq tapped his shoulder, signaling his attention. Vladimir looked up, but couldn't hear what Sadiq said. He resorted to reading his lips and doing the best he could to understand him. He still couldn't understand him.  
“I'm sorry, but I'm going a bit deaf and couldn't quite catch any of that.” He couldn't even hear what he was saying and just hoped it came out ok.  
“That explains why you've been so quiet.” Vladimir make out enough of Sadiq's sentence to piece it together. Sadiq went on, Vladimir taking a bit to put it together in his head, “I said that we should do this more often. It's nice.”  
“Yeah.” Vladimir smiled gently. He felt oddly comfortable opening up to Sadiq. The emotions he felt for Sadiq were too strong to describe, it was like drowning, but there was someone there holding him under the water. Yet, despite drowning, he was perfectly fine with it; it was as if drowning was no more a pleasure than sex. He was enthralled just to stand beside Sadiq, even if Sadiq thought “Stupid” was a good nickname for him.   
Sadiq sighed, like a huge weight was lifted from his chest, “Hera was all I had, and even though he's gone, I'm not so sure how I feel. If I was lonely, wouldn't I be sad? Shouldn't I feel negatively? And yet, I feel more free than I have in forever.”  
Vladimir took a bit to process what Sadiq said, “That's just it, people are at their core, evil. We aren't a species to be proud of. I think that if you feel positively that someone's gone, then they mustn't have been good, that or you're the bad one. Perhaps it's both.” He slurred his words together a bit more than he had intended.  
“But, if we're all bad, then why would we even bother try to be good?” He paused for a moment, “I used to talk philosophy with Hera all the time, but he had it in his head that people were just a byproduct of their thoughts, but most people keep their intentions secret, so how are we to judge their thoughts just on what we've seen on the outside? Who knows the true intent of anyone? No one certainly thought Lovino would kill Hera until he did.”  
Vladimir slid carefully on the ice, keeping his eyes locked on Sadiq as he took what Sadiq said to heart. He wondered if perhaps everyone he hated was actually good, but if that was true, then why did they hate him? What had he done wrong for his mother to despise him? Why had Milen abandoned him? And what about Heracles? Surely he had to go. If Heracles hadn't died, would Sadiq be opening up to him? Would Sadiq even want to be his friend? No, and that's why killing Heracles was the best choice he could make.   
“I guess we can get hints on the quality of a person by the clues they give us.” Vladimir caught a glimpse of Sadiq's eyes. They didn't look that much like maple this time, more so like coffee.   
“Quality is easy to tell for most. It's as easy as knowing whether or not to save a person’s life when they do something stupid or are simply trying to off themselves. People are like books in a sense, very easy to read. Lovino wasn't the kind of person to kill his own brother, he loved Hera more than anything because Hera was all he had. His parents regretted having them, their father was an abusive drunk with another family on the sidelines. For his whole life, all Lovino had was Heracles.” Sadiq stared deep into Vladimir’s eyes. Vladimir stared back, taking in the color. They were a warm coffee and maple brown. They were warm and had golden rings around his pupils that shone like the sun. They stood out yet blended in with his eyes so well that it was almost poetry.   
Sadiq reached his hands up and signed, “I know you killed him.”  
Vladimir read Sadiq’s hands as clear as day. He wasn't sure how Sadiq knew sign language, but the way he moved his hands was as delicate as he spoke. He had large hands that were built for fixing things, but the way he moved them was so fluid and pristine.  
Vladimir was hesitant before signing back, “How?”  
A small smirk rose in Sadiq's face as he signed back, “Well, for one, you've been stalking me, and your apparent deafness doesn't seem to help you keep quiet. You were pretty stealthy when you snuck up on him, I'll admit. However, you were also pretty loud and messy when you killed him.”  
“How do you know all this?” Vladimir was sharp with his hands.  
Sadiq rolled his eyes, “Did you seriously think I wouldn't follow you? Anyway, you were efficient. I'd like to make a deal with you. How about you kill one of your friends, and I won't contact the authorities. In fact, I might consider you one of my closest friends, a lover even if you earn it.”  
Vladimir felt his heart skip a beat. Sadiq was the best person he knew, he would do anything for love from him! If Sadiq wanted him to kill more people, then it was worth it! He quickly signed, “Of course! I can totally do that! I'll do anything for you!”  
A cold smirk stapled itself to Sadiq's face, “I'll give you a week to kill that lady friend of yours.”  
“I can do it sooner if you want!”  
“How about this, make it look like a suicide. If you can do that, I'll reward you.”   
Vladimir nodded, absorbing what Sadiq told him with heart. 

Vladimir waited outside the ice rink for Elisabetta to come back and drive him home. He smiled as he saw his mother's car pull up, “Hey Elisabetta! It's about time you got here.” He teased.  
“Yeah, I had to drive your brother to your Dad’s house.” Her voice sounded muffled and it was hard to make out. Vladimir strained his ears trying to hear her.  
“So, I was wondering if after we return my mom's car, we could stop by the pond.”  
“Sure. But first, how was it with Sadiq?”  
He sighed lovingly. He didn't care if it was a simple crush he'd developed, but Sadiq was wonderful, “He knows sign language, he reciprocates my feelings, and he's one of the best people I've ever met!” He knew the second statement wasn't true, it would be.   
“Oh yeah? What'd he say?”  
“I just have to do a few things for him and we'll be together!” He smiled dreamily.  
She smiled, “That's good! What all do you have to do?”  
“You'll find out soon, but for now, it's my little secret.”

They walked up to the pond. Vladimir carefully placed a foot over the ice. It was just as thick as it had been earlier, “It feels stronger that it did last week.”  
“That's good.”  
“You gonna get on with me this time?”  
“It's thicker, right?”  
“Yep.”  
She took a hesitant step onto the ice. She smiled slightly and muttered something that went unheard to Vladimir.   
Vladimir stayed in the shallow end, not wanting a repeat of last time. He glanced up to her. In the moonlight, she shone like one of the stars. He desperately wanted Sadiq to love him and give him the affection he so craved, but his only friend was Elisabetta. Could he really murder her? He knew he would, but it would be hard.  
He took in a deep breath as he skated closer to the center, “Hey Lizzy, I bet you can't make it across the pond faster than me!”  
“Is that a challenge?”  
“Maybe so.”  
She slid up to him, but her phone rang. She answered it and was drawn away by her mother who wanted her home.  
“Alright, I gotta go. See you tomorrow.” She teetered away from him, sliding gracefully away.  
“Goodbye!” He called as he made his own way home.

A day had passed. It was Sunday afternoon, and Vladimir knew that he'd spent all the time he needed with Elisabetta for a proper send off. It pained him to have to do this, but the rewards were too great. He needed Sadiq's affection like a heart needs a beat.   
The two walked into the small forest close to their town. Vladimir had already prepared what he needed, and it was deep enough in the woods to where she didn't even know where they were.  
She asked him something, though he didn't care nor could he hear.   
He stopped walking and faked a smile like he would for his mother. “We're here!”  
Out of her mouth came muffles that Vladimir could just barely translate to, “What kind of surprise is this?”  
He turned to face her, his eyes locking with hers. He used to hate eye contact, he found it to be too intrusive. But now it was the only way he could get hints as to what the people around him were feeling. He couldn't just listen to their tone of voice, let alone what they said. Her eyes were large, sorrowful, and held more life than he thought possible.   
“Just close your eyes and you'll see.” He inclined.   
She closed her eyes, sparing him from having to watch the emotions she'd feel. He took gloves from his pockets and placed them on before taking her scissors from her back pocket. She always had them on her in case she needed them, and now she'd regret ever having them.   
“What do you need with my scissors?” She asked innocently.  
“You'll see, now expose your arm.”   
She was confused, but complied, handing him an arm.  
He took her arm and dug into it with the blades of her scissors. She screamed loud enough for him to hear. Her screams were as clear as day, the most vivid thing he'd heard in weeks.   
She pulled her arm away and stared at him in horror. The scissors were sharp, and he'd exposed bone. She bled profusely, screaming in anguish.   
Vladimir stepped back, dropping the scissors. He hadn't expected to cut so deep into her arm. He'd never seen so much blood. He backed away in fear, the reality of what he'd done hitting him in the face. Her screaming was what got to him; she just wouldn't stop. He felt tears well up in his eyes, but he forced them back. He had to see this clearly. He had to watch her die.   
She fell to the ground, her voice becoming languid as she slowly lost consciousness.   
Vladimir stared in horror, before carefully turning around. He anxiously found A stream to dump his gloves. He didn't have blood on the rest of his clothes, but he dumped his coat anyway. 

When Vladimir got home, he was still in shock at what he had done. He felt nothing for Heracles, so why her? Was it because he thought she was good? Was it because he'd known her so well? He couldn't quite figure it out, but one thing he knew for sure was that he never wanted to hear anything ever again. He never wanted to feel susceptible to the screams ever again. He squeezed his eyes shut, but the look of hate, pain, and surprise that she'd given him before she died was burned into his skull.   
He found a skinny pair of pliers in his toolbox and made his way to the bathroom. He stared at his own reflection, wondering how Elisabetta must've felt as he was the last thing she saw. Her screams echoed through his ears like sirens. He clutched onto the pliers tightly as he decided that her screams would be the last thing he'd ever hear.   
He dug the pliers into his right ear and began scraping and pulling at whatever he could. Chunks of flesh fell to the sink as he pulled away at his ear drum. The pain was sharp and burned. He tried blocking it out by tearing away more. He had to stop hearing for Elisabetta’s sake.   
Blood poured from his ear. He glanced up at the mirror, amazed by how much blood there was. It wasn't as much as he saw come from Elisabetta’s arm, but it was still a lot.   
He took the pliers and reached into his left ear, however, something tugged at his arm, causing him the pull the pliers out, only snatching onto a little bit of flesh.  
He spun around to see who it was, shocked to find his mother.  
She spoke, but he could only make out odd muffles in his left ear. He had done as he needed to in his right one. He felt woozy and out of it as he surcame to the pain.


	3. Milen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so, Milen is bulgaria, I know that's not a popular name for him, but I thought it sounded nice.

Vladimir woke up in a hospital bed. He could see Milen talking to his mother in the hall and Sadiq sat in a chair beside his bed, playing on his phone.   
Vladimir felt something on his arm and noticed an IV attached to him. He sat up slowly, his head hurting greatly.   
His movement caused Sadiq to look up. He gently tapped Vladimir’s leg and began signing, “There was once this kid I babysat. He was born deaf. I thought he was cool, so I learned how to sign for him. When he saw that I had learned to communicate with him, he became ecstatic and really opened up to me. However, the little boy got hit by a car one rainy day and I never saw him again. His death had a big impact on his family, his mother became an alcoholic, and his father chose work to help him escape his troubles. It was quite sad, really. The boy had two sisters who loved him dearly. His little sister clung to his memory like glue. She loved him more than anything. His older sister had to step up and parent her little sister on her own due to their mother not wanting anything to do with them. The little sister stopped talking a few years ago, and still uses sign language. Katyusha however chose to forget that her brother ever existed. That's just how it is sometimes.”  
Vladimir soaked up the information before signing, “What was the boy's name?”  
“Ivan. He was only 10 years old. You see, he always wanted to know what the world sounded like. He never had the chance to. You however, you heard how awful the world truly is. I can get that, but ripping out your own ear drums? Really? You could have bled out!”  
Vladimir sighed, “It's not like I could hear much of anything anyway.”  
Sadiq glared at him, “You had surfer’s ear. It was reversible. This isn't. You'll never hear out of that ear again. And the left one, only slight muffles, a hearing aid should help. Just..” He stopped for a moment as if in thought before continuing, “Did you kill her?”  
Vladimir felt hesitant. Elisabetta’s screams still rang through his head. He could only nod. He tried to make himself appear happy about it, but just couldn't.   
“Good. You know what that means, right?”  
Vladimir’s eyes light up as he waited for Sadiq to move his hands.  
Milen and their mother walked in. Milen made brief eye contact with Vladimir before looking away guiltily. Their mother walked up to Vladimir and began anxiously talking. Vladimir stared at her in annoyance and confusion as she rambled on. He wondered how long she'd go on talking before realizing that he couldn't hear her.   
Sadiq glanced up at her as if she'd spoken to him. He glanced back at Vladimir before returning her gaze. He nodded and signed, “Your mom’s mad. She said that this stunt was expensive and stupid. She also told me to tell you that you're lucky to only be go to the mental institute for a few days while your ears recover.”  
Vladimir glared at his mother before glancing back at Milen. He looked back at Sadiq and signed, “And Milen?”  
“I'm not sure why he's here, but he'll be joining you for group therapy tomorrow. Does he know sign language?”  
“He should, we learned together to help with his selective mutism.”  
Sadiq nodded before saying a few things to Vladimir’s mom.  
Vladimir noticed his father standing outside the room, carrying Nikki on his hip. Vladimir stared at him, wondering why he was there. His father wouldn't care if he was ok or not, right?  
Sadiq tapped him lightly, “Who's that guy?”  
“My dad. The kid’s my brother. I don't know why they're here.”  
Sadiq rolled his eyes, “Let me take a guess, probably because his son was hospitalized! How could you not come to that conclusion on your own?”  
“I don't get along with him, last time I spoke to him was 5 years ago when he told me that he wouldn't care if I was dead. I then told him that the feeling was mutual.”  
Sadiq glanced back at Vladimir’s father, “He looks really young. Especially when compared to your mom.”  
“He was 15 when mom got pregnant with Milen. She was 26 I think. Then they had me when they were 16 and 28, then Nikki when they were 26 and 37.”  
“Why such a big age gap?”  
“She was a teacher at his school, then she lost her job and gave birth to Milen in jail.”  
“Makes sense I guess.” Sadiq was nudged be Milen, who signed something Vladimir couldn't quite see. Sadiq looked back at Vladimir, “He says that visiting hour’s almost over. I'm gonna head out. See you at school in a few days. Also, I'm gonna register to be your translator.”  
“Ok, be safe.”  
Sadiq waved and left the room.   
Vladimir watched his mother take Nikki and leave too. Milen and their dad approached him. Hos dad said a few things that were promptly translated by Milen.  
“You'll be staying with him until mom thinks you're safe to be around.”  
“It's not like I killed someone.” Vladimir scoffed. Even though he spoke, he wasn't sure if they knew what he was saying. He didn't know if he pronounced his words right, but he didn't really care.  
Milen translated again, “Regardless, Mom’s worried that it's her fault so she wants to keep her distance.”  
“Good. I hate her.”  
Milen glared at him, “She's your mother! You can't say that!”  
“Of course I can! I just did!”  
Milen appeared to scoff before leaving the room.   
His dad stared at him for a bit before spelling out, “I only know the alphabet, so, I'm sorry about that. Can we start over? Be friends again?”  
Vladimir glared at him before solemnly nodding in agreement. He didn't want to be on good terms with his dad, but if he had to, he would.  
His dad smiled before leaving the room. 

Vladimir sat down in the first empty seat he saw. Milen was seated on the other side of the circle. Sadiq followed Vladimir and sat down next to him. He could sense the tension between the two brothers. He decided instead to explain how school was going, “Since we have all the same classes, just in a different order, they moved me around, so now I can be your official translator. It also gives me volunteer credits, so it turned out good in the end.”  
“That good.” Vladimir looked around as more people joined the circle. He had a hearing aid for his left ear and could vaguely make out the fact that they were talking.  
The group therapy had started, with the first few new people explaining why they were there. Sadiq translated, but Vladimir didn't really care for them. They were bad people who did bad things for attention! One girl was there because she stabbed her own leg because she felt like no one cared about her. One guy was there because he took a lot of pills because he felt like everyone would be happier if he was gone. Vladimir found all of them to just want attention. When it was Milen’s turn, he watched eagerly.  
Milen carefully signed, “I have selective mutism. At times it can feel like I don't have a voice. However, the reason I'm here is because of my brother.” He made brief eye contact with Vladimir before continuing, “He and I were two peas in a pod until I moved out. He lashed out at me and I distanced myself from him. At that point I became suicidal and actually did try to kill myself. However I was saved. I know now that ending my life isn't the answer, and that's why I'm here.”  
Vladimir felt nothing for his brother. He didn't care if Milen died or not. Should it be his fault that Milen dies? If he kills himself, then most certainly not.  
Sadiq nudged his shoulder, “Your turn.”  
Vladimir nodded before signing, “I'm actually not all that depressed. If anything, I really like my life. I a friend, a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and the freedom to do what I want for the most part. The reason I stripped myself from my hearing is because I took it for granted. I'd always listen to the world, but never see it. I want to see the world for what it truly is. I don't want to listen to it's lies anymore.”   
Sadiq translated the therapist’s question, “Are you sure that you aren't depressed?”  
“Of course. People are the problem with this world, not me. I'm fine.”

A few days passed. Vladimir stopped going to group therapy to avoid all the stupid people. He thought it was a waste of his time, besides, he wasn't depressed.   
He'd made a deal with his father. If they both pretended that neither existed, then they'd be ok living together. However, that meant being perfectly fine with not ever seeing each other, talking to each other, absolutely no human interaction was to occur.  
Vladimir snuck off to Sadiq's house as he usually would. Sadiq's parents were never home and always worked, giving Sadiq the freedom to do what he wanted. This gave Vladimir the chance he needed to get as close to Sadiq as he could. He spent almost every waking minute with him. It was great, however, Sadiq was also his only way to communicate with others. He didn't trust his ability to speak anymore, and not many people knew sign language. Sadiq was his voice.  
Vladimir loved Sadiq. He was the best person in his eyes, after all, he saved his life, he didn't care that he'd made himself deaf, he gave him the ability to communicate with the outside world, and he didn't care that he'd killed two people.   
Vladimir waited at the pond for Sadiq to get there. His heart sank when he saw Milen walking alongside him.   
“Vladimir, I'm gonna need you to talk things through with him.”  
Milen nodded and signed, “I understand why you don't like me, but we're still brothers, aren't we?”  
Vladimir stared deep into his eyes. They were hazel and resembled dying grass fields. He hated the color, it was dry and bland. Milen's eyes held just as much emotion as broken glass, they were as unfeeling as a corpse. He hated them. He remembered what Milen's voice sounded like, it was cold and sharp. He spoke from the bottom of his throat and slurred his words like they didn't exist. It was a terrible voice that for some reason was often complimented on. His signing wasn't much better. He was lazy with his hands and didn't seem to care if it even looked like he knew sign language. His appearance was worse. His black hair was messy and choppy, just like their father’s. He dressed like a homeless person, his clothes had holes in them, they were stained, and he'd had them since he was in high school.   
Vladimir glared at his brother, “Only if it's on the ice.”  
Sadiq smiled, scooting behind Milen so he wouldn't see what he signed, “You're going to kill him, aren't you?”  
Vladimir dragged Milen out onto the ice. It was time for his brother to go. He had to, he was a waste of space and a waste of a person. If he had to go down with a fight, he would.   
Milen glanced down at the ice, “It's not going to hold us up.” Fear flashed through his eyes, but he tried to keep his composure, “That's what you wanted though, isn't it? Why? We're brothers! All I did was move out! How does that warrant death? I never did anything to you!”  
Vladimir stomped into the ice, shattering it. Both he and his brother fell in. Terrified, Vladimir swan up to the surface, taking in a gulp of air before clutching into a sharp chunk of ice.   
Milen screamed, his screams just loud enough to reach Vladimir’s ears. Vladimir stuck the ice into Milen's mouth, piercing his throat. Blood oozed from his mouth as he gasped for air, but nothing came to his lungs. Choking, Milen’s head was forcibly submerged into the water. Milen struggled against his little brother, but the wound in his throat and water in his lungs only aided his kin.  
Vladimir carefully clawed his way out of the pond, coughing out water. He pulled himself out of the ice, carefully dragging himself away from the hole. The wounds in his ears burned as the water sank into his head. Scabs macerated, and blood dripped from his ears. He walked up to Sadiq, feeling just about ready to pass out.   
Sadiq stretched out his arms for Vladimir who threw himself into them. His embrace was warm, as was the blood. He slowly felt himself lose consciousness. He closed his eyes peacefully, the horrors of what he'd just done not yet making themselves apparent in his head. 

Vladimir woke up in Sadiq's arms as he was being carried through Sadiq's house to his room. He faded in and out of consciousness as he noticed being put in a nice warm shower to wash the blood from his clothes.   
He woke up enough to register what was happening when Sadiq turned off the water, “The blood’s off you now. I'm gonna lend you some clothes, after you're dressed, I want you to go back to sleep and make sure you've got all of the water out of your lungs.”   
Vladimir nodded and watched as Sadiq placed some sweats on the sink counter. As Sadiq left, Vladimir felt empty, like his heart had been stripped away from him.   
Vladimir curled up on the guest bed. He made sure to wrap up his ears to prevent getting blood on the pillows. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.  
Vladimir woke up to feel Sadiq curled up beside him. The body was warm and the steady rises and falls of his lungs was soothing and akin to rocking. It was calming.   
Vladimir closed his eyes again, though what came to his head was the image of his brother dying. The ice in his throat, the blood, the screams! They haunted him. He squeezed his eyes shut, desperate to get the image out of his head, however it remained there. His brain forced him to relive instances when he was a child and got along with his brother, when he loved his brother. The screams echoed through his head like gunfire. His weak heart couldn't handle it. Elisabetta popped into his head as well. How could he have killed them? Why did he feel nothing for Heracles, but felt the world crumble around him at what he'd done to his brother and friend? He felt tears graze their way across his face, landing on the warm bed. He rolled away from Sadiq to submerge himself into the lonely cold of the bed. His heartstrings tugged away at him. He hadn't cried when Elisabetta died, so why now?   
Sadiq scooted closer to him, his breath dancing across the back of his neck. It sent a quick chill down his spine.   
Sadiq had told him to kill Elisabetta, but he only had himself to blame for Milen.


	4. Chapter 4

Vladimir exited the school building. He felt oddly happy to be going home. It meant he'd be able to relax and take a break.   
His left ear had been making these odd cracking noises that he couldn't quite explain. His head had also been hurting a lot since he'd killed Milen. It was odd, he'd gone into the pond before, last time he went deaf, this time he was hearing weird noises. He figured that the surfer's ear thing Sadiq mentioned earlier had something to do with the deaf part, but the cracks were different. However, he had wounds in his ears this time around, so he figured that the noises would go away once his ears healed up a bit more.   
He walked into his dad’s house and heard his father cooking. Despite Vladimir telling him not to cook for him and to pretend he didn't exist, his father always made enough food for them both. Vladimir was careful not to bother him about it, seeing as he wanted nothing to do with him. The food smelled fairly good though and he hadn't eaten yet that day. He made his way to the kitchen, staring down his father as he considered saying something.  
He didn't need to speak, for his father turned to him with a smile, “Happy Birthday!” He signed.   
Vladimir cocked his head to the side, it couldn't be his birthday already. He was also fairly shocked by how clearly his father had signed. It looked like he'd been practicing.  
His father took his hand and dragged him up to the stove and signed, “Do you remember when you were little and said that Mititei was your favorite food? I made some! It's cooling off, so it should be ready to serve whenever you're ready.”  
His dad had to spell out some of the words, but Vladimir understood. He felt a smile creep its way onto his face. He looked up into his father's eyes, “Thanks.” His throat felt strained from lack of use, but it did it's job.  
He ate dinner with his father. He wasn't sure if his father had forgiven him for being so needlessly cruel, but he'd take the positivity.   
His father's hair looked just like Milen’s, it had the same black hue and was equally as messy and choppy. He was a spitting image of him. His eyes however were the same soft amber as Nikki's.   
Just thinking of Milen brought bad memories to his head. He tried blocking them out, but he knew he could never escape what he'd done.  
His father lightly tapped him, “I know this breaks the one rule we set, but I wanted to do something for you. You're 17 now, older than I was when I had you. You've made much better choices than I have, and I want you to know that I'm proud of you.”  
Vladimir felt like he'd just been stabbed in the chest. He hadn't made good choices, if he did, Heracles, Elisabetta, and Milen would still be alive, he'd be able to hear, he wouldn't have Sadiq. He sighed, “I haven't made good choices.”   
“Well, your hearing won't come back, but we all make mistakes. Just look at your mother. She hasn't made a single right choice in her life, and she's doing fine.”  
“Are Milen and I your mistakes?” He asked, feeling rather defeated.  
His father was hesitant, as if struggling to find the words, “In a way, yes. But that doesn't mean that I don't love you two. You're still my sons.”  
“But we are mistakes, right?”  
“Yes. When your mom had Milen, she lost her job and was jailed for statutory rape. We stayed in touch and next thing you know, she was having another kid. I kept my distance until I was 18, then we got married. Few years later, we have another son, though this time his existence was legal.”  
Vladimir thought for a bit. His father couldn't spell for shit, but he understood. He took a bite of food before saying, “Ok.”

Sadiq knocked on their door, “Mr. Popescu, is your son home?”   
Vladimir’s father answered the door, “Yeah, he's in his room.” He stepped aside, allowing him in.   
As Sadiq walked past Nikki, the child cowered back in fear. Sadiq turned to face him, “Where's your brother?” His tone was soft but had a hint of darkness in it. It scared Nikki.  
The small child pointed to the door where his room was. He watched carefully as Sadiq made his way to see Vladimir.  
Sadiq walked into Vladimir’s room. It was actually Nikki's for when he stayed over at his dad’s, but Vladimir called it his own until his mother would let him come back.   
Vladimir was lying down on his right side on the bed, facing the wall. He was humming to himself, a tune Sadiq recognized easily. Vladimir had his hands over his ears. There was blood on his fingertips and pillow.   
Sadiq gently tapped Vladimir’s leg. He waited patiently as Vladimir rolled over. Sadiq noticed that there was a lot more blood on his right side than the left. He didn't care why there was blood, but was a little curious as to what Vladimir was doing.   
“Yes?” Vladimir sat up.  
“I want to talk to you. You've been quiet recently.” Sadiq noticed Vladimir’s hearing aid on the nightstand. He picked it up and noticed that there was blood on it, “Has this been working ok?”  
“Not really. I might have broken it.”  
Sadiq handed it to him, “So, what's with the silence? You hardly did any work in class yesterday, you've been heading home instead of hanging out with me, and I had to come to you today, what's going on?”  
“I don't really know. I just don't feel right.”  
“Sick?”   
“Yeah, but my head’s been hurting too, and my left ear keeps making this weird noise.”  
“That's not good. So, what were you doing before I walked in?”  
Vladimir glanced down and and replied with, “Remembering, I guess.”  
Sadiq nodded, “Your dad seems happier today, what's up with that?”  
“Nikki was dropped off last night, and we spoke a bit yesterday.”   
Sadiq glanced back, “I don't trust him. There's something about him that I just don't like.”  
“He's ok.”  
Sadiq glared at him, “No he's not. Your sense of judgement has been skewed. Don't ever trust yourself, if he's bad, then he's bad. You wouldn't know because you can't hear, but I think he hates you.”  
“Well he did say that I was a mistake..”  
“Exactly! That's my point! What good father calls his own son a mistake?”  
“But I was.” Vladimir cocked his head to the side with concern.   
“You only know that because he told you. He's as bad as your mother. He doesn't care about you! He's only pretending!”  
“But-”   
Vladimir tried to sign more, but Sadiq took his hands before letting them go to sign, “Your father is a bad man. You told me that you used to fight with him, did you not?”  
“I did.”  
“And what was that about?”  
“He called me a waste of a person.”  
“And yet you think he's ok? He's evil! He's only using you for his sick and twisted game! You can't trust him!”  
“But what would he be using me for?”  
“I don't know, but you said you spoke with him yesterday? Was it on good terms?”  
“He gave me my favorite food.”  
“He's just trying to buy your love. He could be using you to hurt your mom, or worse!”  
Vladimir though for a bit. Sadiq made sense, but even if he was being used, what would his father have to gain?  
“What he's doing to you is called-” he then signed something that Vladimir couldn't understand.   
Vladimir copied the sign, “What's this mean?” He asked.  
Sadiq looked around for a moment before finding a piece of paper and a pencil. He wrote down the word grooming, “Vladimir, you can't trust him. Come live with me, I won't use you.” He put the paper away and signed, “Come on, let's go.”  
“Now? Can I have time to make a decision?”  
Sadiq leaned over and kissed him. As he pulled away, he signed, “You have until next week.”  
Vladimir placed his fingertips over his lips. The kiss was too quick, but long enough for Vladimir to taste Sadiq's chapstick. He longed for more.   
He tasted the blood on his fingertips, realizing the state his ears were in. He wrapped them up in attempt to avoid getting blood everywhere. 

Vladimir’s father was preparing Nikki's breakfast for the day when Vladimir walked up to him, “Dad, do you know what grooming is?” He asked, trying to keep his voice down.  
“Isn't that for animals?” He missigned animals, but Vladimir understood what he was saying.  
“No, I mean on people.”  
“No, why?”  
“Just asking.” Vladimir put his jacket on and headed out the door.   
His father's house was on the other side of the forest, which Vladimir found convenient. He walked through the woods, following the trail that lead to the pond. He hadn't been there since Milen died, however, the weather was heating up a bit, so he knew it wouldn't look the same. The warm spell was unusual for early December, but he didn't mind.   
The ice was in thin, small, chunks. The snow had sank into the dirt, sticking to Vladimir’s shoes. He observed the ice carefully, the places where there'd been blood had melted. He wasn't sure if he should have been happy about that or not. He didn't see Milen's body floating in the water, but he wasn't sure as to why. He wondered if someone had found the body.  
He heard a loud and sudden noise. He spun around to see what it was. Sadiq stood behind him with his hands by his face as if he'd yelled. Vladimir assumed Sadiq laughed judging by his movements. Sadiq gave him a cocky grin, “I was wondering if you were gonna hear me!”  
Vladimir smiled and giggled softly, “That startled me!”   
Sadiq gestured towards the pond, “Wondering where the body went?”  
Vladimir nodded.  
“Don't worry about it, I tied a cinder block to it. It sank.”  
“When did you do that?”  
“While you were sleeping. It was a bit hard, I had to use my dad's boat.”  
Vladimir glanced back at the water, “Guess we can't go swimming next summer.”  
“Are you doing ok?”  
“Why do you ask?”  
“Well, you look like you haven't slept in a bit. Not to mention, you're paler than usual.”  
“I'm sure I just caught a stomach bug or something, I'll be fine. My head still hurts though.”  
“Still hearing weird noises?”  
“Yeah, this weird cracking sound.”  
Sadiq frowned, “That's not good. Has your dad taken you to the doctors?”   
“No.”  
“See, more reason to go live with me. My parents wouldn't mind taking you to the doctor's.”   
Vladimir sighed. He knew that he'd probably be better off living with his mom should he really decide not to live with his dad, after all, as much as she hated him, she still took care of him. He also still had money stashed away in his room, so he saw no harm in going back to live with her.   
“You know, with the warm weather back for a bit, it kinda puts things to perspective.” Sadiq sat down on a dry spot under a tree. He gestured for Vladimir to sit beside him.   
Vladimir shuffled over to him and sat down. Upon sitting down, he realized how exhausted he was, it felt as if he hadn't slept in ages.  
Sadiq was still feeling rather philosophical, “You know, the first snowfall of the year is never given much attention. However, I feel like it is a true symbol of life.”  
“How?” Vladimir scooted closer.   
“You see, when the snow falls, we don't worry about never seeing grass ever again, we know that life will return. However, that doesn't stop most of the plant life dying. Everything dies, and even more so in winter. The first snowfall signifies the end of life, but we know that not everything dies, after all, if everything did, then would we even have plants when spring comes? So, the first snowfall shows how resilient life is, it shows raw unaided life.”  
Vladimir observed the grass around him, “But even with the first snowfall, there are more to come, aren't there?”  
“Of course. Just look at Hera, Elisabetta, and Milen. Aren't they your snowfalls?”  
Vladimir’s eyes widened, “But, that… It couldn't have been their time, they didn't need to die. Winter's job is to make way for new life, that's why the first snowfall is so important! Their deaths were closer to forest fires if anything!”  
“I'm not so sure about that. With them gone, we had a chance to become friends, we had a chance to get to know one another. Life is what's keeping us apart. If we clear away what we have to, then there'll be room for us. We can't be together if there are all those weeds in the way.”  
“But, the weeds are gone now, aren't they? Can't we just be together like a normal couple?”  
“This is our winter. When spring comes, there will just be more weeds, that's why we need more snow storms. We need more decay if we are ever to keep going.”  
Vladimir realized what Sadiq meant. A pit of fear rose in his stomach, “Just who are these weeds?”  
“I think you know them very well.” 

The week had passed and he was scared. If he lived with Sadiq, he might have to kill more people, but if he stayed with his father, he might lose Sadiq forever. As much as he craved him, he knew that something was wrong. Their relationship didn't sit well with him. It had become like a drug, and it ate away at his mind. He wasn't sure if his heart was strong enough to do something like what he did to Milen again.   
Vladimir forced a smile upon seeing Sadiq enter his room. He had come to a decision, he'd live with Sadiq. He knew that more people would die, but if it meant he got to be loved, then he'd do it.   
Sadiq entered the room with a calm and graceful smile. It was the kind of genuine smile that just made Vladimir’s heart flutter. He sat down on the bed beside him, “You know, I never noticed how red your eyes are. At first I thought they were just a light brown, but they're more than that, you know?” Vladimir loved how pristine Sadiq signed his words. It was as if it came to him naturally.   
“I've made up my mind.”  
“That's good.”  
“I love you, and I don't want to lose you, you are the beat to my heart, I need you. I don't want to live without you.” He felt his smile become genuine. He'd known for a while that he loved Sadiq, but to say it in person was a whole new world to him. His hands were too shaky for him to sign it, so he gave it his best shot. He knew his voice had become weak due to lack of use, but he had to confess.  
Sadiq smiled, “That's good.”   
The two made their way out of the house. Sadiq paused, “Why wasn't your brother here today?”  
“Normally on the first weekend of the month, Nikki stays with Mom, but she forgot about that last week since she had to work, so, he's with her this week.”  
Sadiq nodded, “Wait for me in the car then.”  
Vladimir smiled and got in the car.   
Sadiq found Vladimir’s dad in his room, cleaning up.  
“Oh, hey Sadiq. Are you taking Vladimir to your place?” He sounded oddly carefree and relaxed.  
“Yes, but first, I need to do something. I don't want Vladimir coming back here.”  
He looked confused, “Why? I thought he liked it here. He and I were finally getting along.”  
“Well, sure, he might like it here.” Sadiq scoffed, “But that doesn't mean that I have to like that he lives here. He's my property. I'm not the type to let my property stay with other people.”  
“As long as he agrees to stay with you, I'm fine with that.”  
Sadiq rolled his eyes, “He doesn't have a choice. He's staying with me. So to prevent him from leaving, I'm gonna have to make sure he doesn't have anywhere to go back to.”  
Vladimir’s dad took a step back, “What do you mean? Why is he so important to you?”  
“He killed the man I love, so therefore, I have to see to it that he's punished. Besides, he's grown on me. I might just keep him alive once I'm done with him.”  
“I'm calling the police!”  
“No you aren't.” Sadiq charged at him, stuffing pills into his mouth. Vladimir’s dad accidentally swallowed them.   
“What did you make me swallow?”  
“Just you wait. Unless you want to find your son dead in a ditch, I suggest you stay away from the authorities.” Sadiq turned and left.  
Vladimir sat in the car. His mind wandered, but eventually found a subject to ponder about.   
If people were all bad, then why would there be any good in the world? He knew that he was a bad person, but he wasn't so sure about Sadiq. Sadiq had been the best person he knew, but he told him to kill. If Sadiq was bad, wouldn't that only make him worse since he actually killed a few people? Surely it would. But just how bad would that make him? One of the worsts? He just didn't know, but he didn't want to believe that Sadiq was bad.   
Sadiq stepped into the car, “Well, that was fun.”  
“What'd you do?” Vladimir straightened his back.  
“I took care of your dad. He shouldn't be bothering us anymore.”  
Vladimir’s heart sank. He glanced back at the house, “Had to make way for new life?”  
Sadiq nodded as he drove away.


	5. Chapter 5

Vladimir examined his new bed. It was soft and far better than the beds he'd had.   
Sadiq walked up to him, “Until your ears heal up, I want you to keep your ears wrapped up when you sleep.”  
Vladimir nodded. He sat down on the bed, “What was Heracles like?”  
Sadiq sighed and sat down, “Hera was one of the best people I've ever met. He was smart, strong, wouldn't take shit from anyone. He was the exact opposite of you.”  
“I'm sorry I took him from you.”   
Sadiq rested his head on Vladimir’s shoulder, “It was for the best. After all, you're just as good, if not better.”  
“No I'm not. I'm one of the worsts.”  
“You're not. Trust me.”   
Vladimir sighed and rested his head on Sadiq.

Vladimir stopped by his mother's house to pick up a few of his things. Sadiq decided to tag along.   
Vladimir handed Sadiq his jar of money, then placed his clothes in a basket to take back to Sadiq's.   
Vladimir noticed a figure out of the corner of his eyes, but when he turned to look at it, it was gone. He brushed it off as nothing, but it came back. He wasn't sure what it was really. It looked like a person, but it most certainly wasn't.   
Sadiq tapped his shoulder, “Is this all you need?”  
He nodded before looking for the weird figure again.   
He was dragged back to Sadiq's car. He waited in the passenger’s seat while Sadiq decided to ask Vladimir’s mom a few questions.   
Nikki was playing in the street with a few of the neighbor kids. A car came rolling forward, Nikki called out to the others about its presence.  
Sadiq looked expectantly at the car as it drove past.  
The car swerved awkwardly and slammed into the yard that Nikki and his friends were playing in.   
Vladimir stared in shock as he watched the car slam into his little brother and one of his friends. The neighbor kid died instantly, while Nikki simply bled onto the concrete driveway.   
The car drove away as soon as it came.  
Vladimir, his mother, and Sadiq ran up to the children. His mother called for an ambulance as more neighbors exited their homes.

Vladimir walked down the familiar hospital hallways. He wasn't expecting to be back so soon. He'd answered a few questions for the police, though he wasn't much help.   
He poked his head into his brother’s room. He saw his mother sitting by her son while trying to call someone. Sadiq was getting food, so Vladimir knew he wouldn't be able to communicate with his mother. He waited patiently outside the room for Sadiq to come back.   
After ten minutes or so, Sadiq came back with food. He walked into the room, obediently followed by Vladimir. Sadiq sat down, handing some food to Vladimir’s mom. She gave him a thankful nod before returning to her phone. After a few minutes, she started complaining. Sadiq translated for Vladimir.  
“Your father isn't picking up Vladimir. This is bullshit! Why'd he come when you were hospitalized, but not Nikki?” She walked out the hospital room.  
Sadiq laughed by Vladimir’s observations before signing, “He's not picking up because he's dead!”  
Vladimir wanted to ask Sadiq something, but just couldn't. He already knew the answer.  
His mom walked back in. She put her phone in her pocket and sat down. She and Sadiq spoke for a bit. Vladimir was curious as to what they were talking about, but chose to stay silent. He knew that Sadiq would tell him what he needed to know. He ate his food in silence, staring down his little brother.  
It had been a day since the accident, so Nikki's condition was still horrific. His nose was broken, his ribs were fractured, along with a few other bones that Vladimir wasn't sure of. Nikki's face was badly bruised and swollen. It was terrifying. He wondered if Nikki would ever be the same.  
Once they were done eating, Sadiq lead Vladimir away. Sadiq took Vladimir’s hand and decided that the two needed to wait outside the door.  
“Sadiq, what's going on?”  
“Not now, I'm listening.”  
“Oh.” Vladimir waited outside alongside Sadiq. After a few minutes, Sadiq pulled away.  
“I'll be back, I want you to look worried, ok?”  
“Ok.” He watched as Sadiq took off.  
Sadiq came back with nurses and a few other people. They frantically bolted into Nikki's room. Vladimir became alarmed when he saw his mother get dragged out. She was shouting furiously, barely loud enough for Vladimir’s hearing aid to pick up the noise.   
“He's my son! I should be the one to decide if he lives or dies!” She called out.  
Vladimir felt taken aback by her cries. He poked a head into Nikki's room. The doctor was using a defibrillator, and Nikki's heart monitor had flatlined. He stared in shock as he watched the doctors fail to revive his baby brother.   
Sadiq made his way to Vladimir’s side, “Another weed gone, might have even killed two birds with this stone.”  
Vladimir’s eyes widened. Just what did Sadiq do? All he did was talk… Vladimir realized why Sadiq hadn't translated their conversation.


	6. The Meaning of Love

Vladimir sat outside. It had begun snowing again. He closed his eyes and breathed in the cold air. He opened his eyes as he exhaled, seeing as his breath flew away in little puffs.   
He had been orphaned in the span of a week. His brothers were dead, he was all that was left of the Popescu lineage. It was stupidly poetic, being the last of his family. Sadiq’s parents had become his legal guardians at their son's request. Sadiq was all he had left now.   
As the snow fell, Vladimir stared out into the distance. The neighborhood was new to him and had many details he wanted to take in. It was as if he was seeing the world for the first time. There was a lense that clouded his vision before, a lense made of unnecessary hate and judgement. He knew he was still judgemental, but with the recent death of his family, it was as if he was relieved of that judgement momentarily.   
His mother was given drugs to calm her down after she killed Nikki. While she was hospitalized, she found a way to kill herself. Vladimir didn't know much about the details, but knew that her autopsy results were extremely similar to his dad’s.   
Vladimir saw the figure in the corner of his eyes again. It had been more prevalent over the past few days, whispering in such a way to where he could hear it, it was in his face at times, he didn't know what its deal was. He didn't know what it was, just that it wasn't human. It scared him.   
The shadowy figure wasn't the only one. There were eyes everywhere. They weren't too concerning, they looked rather cartoony if anything. There were also these hands on the floors that would try to grab at him.   
He had come to terms with the fact that these things he saw weren't real, they couldn't be. He knew that the wounds in his ears that just refused to heal had something to do with it.   
Sadiq tapped his shoulder, “Come inside, it's cold.”  
“Did you kill my mother?”  
“Of course.”  
Vladimir nodded, “Thank you.” He stood up and followed Sadiq inside. He stepped over the hands that tried clawing at his ankles as he followed Sadiq to bed. Sadiq did have another bed for Vladimir, but he insisted that Vladimir slept beside him. Vladimir didn't understand why, but he loved the company. Sadiq provided extra warmth, and he'd always wrap his arms around him as if he were protecting Vladimir.   
As Vladimir got ready for bed, he saw worms on the bed. He was hesitant, carefully brushing off the bed to feel if they were real.  
“What are you doing?” Sadiq asked, putting in his mouth guard.  
“I just saw something, that's all.”  
“What'd you see?”  
“I'm sure they weren't real, but it looked like there were worms.”  
“Oh.” Sadiq examined the bed, “Nope, no worms or bugs of any kind.”  
Still feeling hesitant, Vladimir crawled onto the bed.   
Sadiq lied down beside him, “You know, I really love you. Didn't think I would when I first met you. When I saw you on the ice, I thought you were just some idiot trying to impress himself in front of a girl, but then you started watching me. I thought, maybe you just found an interest in me. But then you killed Hera and were willing to kill your best friend for me. I was appalled, really. I didn't think anyone would ever be that willing to love me like you do. But you see, our winter has only just begun. I have so much planned for you.”  
“Really?” He locked eyes with his lover.  
“Really.” Sadiq pulled closer to Vladimir, “I love you. I think I'll keep you.” He wrapped his arms around Vladimir, closing his eyes.  
Vladimir let out an affectionate sigh and snuggled up close to him.

It was the first day of winter break, and despite not being at school all that much, Vladimir had passed his midterm finals with high Bs. Sadiq had gotten low Cs, but wasn't bothered by that. The two had two and a half weeks to do as they pleased.   
Sadiq set up a fire in the fireplace, and sat down on the floor in front of it. He tapped on the floor, signaling Vladimir to sit beside him.  
Vladimir sat down. The fire was comfortingly warm. He glanced at Sadiq lovingly. He was a corrupt man, but Vladimir was too. He knew that Sadiq was a bad person, and that that only made him worse. However, he wasn't bothered by this. To love someone, you must accept their flaws and love them for who they are. He felt just as much a need to be by his side as he had so long ago, when Sadiq told him to kill Elisabetta.  
Elisabetta's corpse had not yet been found. He knew it was for the best, but he knew that he wouldn't want to rot away, forgotten by everyone.   
People were inherently bad, Sadiq, the best person Vladimir had ever met, proved that. However, they can't be all bad, otherwise there wouldn't be any good in the world. However, for those who kill, there were no grey areas, he knew that. Sadiq was ok because there was enough good in him to block out the darkness. But Vladimir? No, he knew that he'd blackened his soul the minute he killed Heracles. That was truly unforgivable.  
Sadiq gave Vladimir a loving smile, “Do you know who we have to kill next?”  
“No, who?” They'd already killed everyone Vladimir knew.  
“There's this little sophomore at our school who seems to have taken an interest in me. His name’s Emil. I was thinking we could take out his friends, make him become dependant on us. We might have to kill him, but for now, the way I see it, we'd be expanding our family. He's already given me the nickname “Pops””  
Vladimir thought for a minute, “Why would we have to kill him?”  
“For the same reason I originally planned on killing you, he might not be willing to kill. He might be weak and might try to tattle on us.”  
“You planned on killing me?”  
“At first, the day I invited you to the ice rink, then I think I scrapped that plan after Nikki died. It was sometime around then.”  
Vladimir stared in shock. This whole time, he could have been killed, but why? Why kill him? Why keep him alive? He didn't understand. It just didn't add up in his head.  
He watched as the fire danced, quietly questioning everything he knew.   
Grooming, to buy a person's affection just to use them. Sadiq had been using him the whole time! But why? Was he just a tool to Sadiq? Sadiq did like to refer to killing people as clearing room for more life, but he said that before Nikki had died. Had Sadiq just been calling him the unnecessary life? When Vladimir confessed his love, Sadiq still planned on killing him. Was Sadiq lying when he said that he loved him? Had Sadiq been lying to him the whole time?   
This had all been his punishment for killing Heracles, Vladimir concluded. That's why Sadiq didn't care that Vladimir had gone deaf, Sadiq didn't care for him at all! He was no more fake than Vladimir’s mother! 

Vladimir woke up that night with his head hurting more that it had ever. He slunk out of bed, trying not to wake up Sadiq. He made his way to the living room before he felt a surge of pain that hurt worse than when Vladimir had ripped his own eardrums out. He whimpered as the pain brought him to his knees. The shadows, hands, and eyes all lunged at him. He tried scooting away from them, but he was in too much pain.  
“Sadiq doesn't love you.” An eerily familiar voice called out to him. He wasn't sure how it was possible, considering that he was deaf and didn't have his hearing aid in. The voice was feminine, and held more emotion than he thought possible.   
“He's using you.” Another familiar voice sneered. It was cold and sharp. It was masculine and spoke from the bottom of his throat and slurred his words like they didn't exist. It was a terrible voice that for some reason was often complimented on.  
“Turn the tables and kill him first!” This voice wasn't as familiar, but he recognized it nonetheless. It had a false veil of innocence that was slow and eerily calm.  
He looked up to see the three he killed. Their smiled were cold and unfeeling. Their eyes, all green, locked onto him. He realized that the eyes he had been seeing were theirs. He couldn't believe his eyes. Blood dripped from Elisabetta’s arm and from Milen's mouth, their wounds still fresh.   
Vladimir felt the urge to puke, but his stomach was too empty.   
Heracles keeled kneeled down, getting in Vladimir’s face, “Sadiq's gonna kill you, and he's the kind of person that won't go easy on you either. You'll be tortured. It'll be no more than a game to him, no different than how he's been toying with you this whole time.”  
Vladimir covered his ears, “No! He won't! He loves me! He said so!”  
Elisabetta scoffed, “Do you think that love will stop him? You adored me, and yet you still killed me!”  
“I did what I had to!” Covering his ears didn't block out their voices.   
“No, you didn't! You didn't have to kill any of us! You only thought about yourself! Not once did you consider the fact that you were taking our lives! You took everything from us! What you had to do was leave Sadiq alone, or simply stay off of that damn pond!” Milen hissed, “Had you never set foot on that pond, we’d all still be alive. We wouldn't have suffered!”  
Heracles tilted his head, “But no. You wanted to have Sadiq all to yourself, so you killed me. And now he wants to kill you. This could have been avoided.”   
Vladimir squeezed his eyes shut as tears began to form in his eyes, “I didn't want this! I didn't want any of this! I'm sorry for what I've done, but I can't take it back! I would if I could, but I can't!”  
Something tapped Vladimir’s back. He turned his head to see who it was. Sadiq stood with a concerned look on his face, “Who are you talking to?”  
Vladimir hugged Sadiq's legs, “I'm sorry! This could have been avoided, but I was selfish! If it wasn't for me, you'd still have Heracles, and everyone would still be alive! I'm so sorry!”  
Sadiq sat down to Vladimir’s eye level, “You did nothing wrong. I don't see why you're so upset. I'm a lot happier with you than I was Hera. I still miss him, and I always will, but you just make me so much happier. If you're feeling guilty about all the deaths, then don't. Everyone dies eventually. Why should you feel bad about that?”  
“Because I'm the one who ended their lives!”  
“But that doesn't mean you should feel guilty. Sometimes people have to die. Remember what I said about winter?”  
Vladimir nodded. The three ghosts still lingered. They whispered doubts into his ears, and as much as he wanted to tell himself that they weren't right, they made some good points. He knew that Sadiq had been lying to him, but he didn't want to believe it.   
Vladimir stared into Sadiq's Maple and coffee colored eyes. They held so much life and echoed the pure money sound that Vladimir had fallen in love with. Their warmth was just too enticing to ignore. He let out a quick sigh, “Sadiq, I know you said that we're winter, but you're wrong. We're fire. We needlessly kill and try to justify ourselves with this delusion of making room for life. But, we're just too destructive. In total, 7 people have died because of us! It's only been 2 and a half months! That's too many! And you keep talking about how we're only going to kill more people! I can't do this anymore! I can't kill anyone else!”  
Sadiq's face twisted to that of malice. He stood up and walked towards the kitchen. Vladimir got up and followed him. His heart sank as he saw Sadiq reach for a kitchen knife.   
Vladimir ran up to Sadiq, “You don't have to kill me! I won't tell anyone about what we've done!”  
Sadiq's lips moved, though Vladimir couldn't read them. Sadiq threw himself onto Vladimir, who just barely dodged with a slight nick on his shoulder.   
“Please stop! What was it you said about winter?”  
Vladimir was able to hear Sadiq as he boomed loudly, “What was it you said about loving me? What was it you said about doing anything for me?”  
“I've already killed for you! What more do I need to do?”  
“That's where you're wrong!” His voice sounded a lot less graceful than Vladimir remembered. It was strained, sharp, and in no way like the thick syrupy money he once compared it to.   
Sadiq pushed Vladimir up against a wall. He carved around Vladimir’s collarbone, “Once you start killing, you never stop!”  
Vladimir wailed in pain. He shot his leg upwards, kicking Sadiq square between the legs. He took the knife from Sadiq while he was in pain.  
Sadiq spat something at him hatefully. There was more anger in his eyes than Vladimir thought possible. The loving warmth was replaced with burning malice.   
Vladimir felt tears roll down his cheeks and he raised the knife and threw it into Sadiq's chest. Sadiq choked out blood and fell to the floor. Vladimir crashed down with him, driving the knife into Sadiq's stomach multiple times.   
Sadiq sputtered out blood. Vladimir dropped the knife and sobbed heavily. Sadiq raised a bloody hand, lightly tapping Vladimir’s leg. Vladimir glanced over, barely able to see through the tears that bleed from his eyes.   
Sadiq’s hands were shaky as he carefully signed, “It's as I said, our love is like winter. Gotta clear the room for more life.”  
“No. What we've done was just wrong.”   
Sadiq sighed, blood pouring from his body. His breathing shallowed as he signed, “Your eyes look like sunlit ice.” He smiled weakly before closing his eyes. Vladimir watched as Sadiq’s chest became still.   
Vladimir felt more tears pour from his eyes, blood dripping from his chest. He felt his heart finally shatter. He cried, he cried for what he'd done to Heracles, to Elisabetta, to Milen; he cried for what happened to his family, to the little neighbor kid lost his life; he cried for the love he felt and the lies it was built upon. He cried for now, after everything that had happened to him, he had lost everything.   
He knew it was for the best that Sadiq was gone, however such a thought reminded him of something he'd once said to Sadiq, “People are at their core, evil. We aren't a species to be proud of. I think that if you feel positively that someone's gone, then they mustn't have been good, that or you're the bad one. Perhaps it's both.” He came to realize the validity of that statement. He was a terrible person, and yet, so was Sadiq. 

Vladimir slowly walked through the small forest. He could see the pond that had frozen over yet again.   
The ice was thin, though he didn't care. He trekked over the ice, feeling it crack beneath his feet. He waited until he was in the center to stop moving. He glanced down, watching the ice crack. He sighed and looked up. The sun was rising in the distance. He closed his eyes, letting the warmth from the sun wash over him before the ice gave in to his weight.  
Water filled his lungs, he gasped for air, though he didn't bother fighting for his life, he'd done too much of that already. He could see Sadiq. He reached out to him, though his hands passed right through him. His vision blacked out, and the water took over his senses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that concludes this story.


End file.
